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Dear Xanga,
Well, it's about that time. We both knew this day was coming, we just didn't know when. I'm sorry to do this to you, but I have to go. It's not you, it's me. I just feel like I've grown a lot since we first met, and, well....it's time for me to move on. Don't worry, I will come back once in a while to reminisce and remember the old days. If you want to visit me, I'll be at my new blog, here. Please don't take this the wrong way...
Love,
Whitney
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| Welp, Bella has been mine now since Saturday, April 26. That makes 62 days.
Yep, 62 days since I've had my sweet little Bella-boo. She has proven to be a lot more work than I anticipated, but I wouldn't change a thing. I often woner if raising a child will be similar to raising her. Children...puppies...eh. Anyways.... When you come over, Bella will greet you at the door with the most frivolous tail wag. She's also a big fan of licking toes and legs (if you are a victim of this, I do apologize). Most people do mind, but politely say "oh, I don't mind." You see, Bella has no reservations - and her manners can be quite terrible. We are working on this. Believe me. Usually I'll say something like "Bella, no! That's gross..." Then she'll either retreat or give me the "I'll show you face" and do it again. And for some reason, I find this terribly cute.
When she plays, she likes to nibble. Right now, we're working on the "no bite!!!" command, but she prefers to ignore that one. She is [almost] fully potty trained (with a minor accident about every other week), and she knows how to sit..especially if you have yummy "human food!"
Bella sleeps with me every night. It makes me happy, although she is a bit of a bed hog (revert back to the no manners thing). She likes to snuggle up next to me and rest her head on my leg. This is our normal going to sleep routine. When we wake it's a different story. Bella is sprawled out on "her half" of the bed. Yes a whole half. And she's not even 30 lbs yet! I keep telling her that one day when I get married she will either have to sleep in her own bed, or learn how to share with someone else [as long as he doesn't mind]. She doesn't seem to be warming up to the idea...not one iota. I just lover her so much. We've had many adventures in the short 62 days that she's been mine. From chasing squirells, to dog parks, to sabattical days, to movie nights, to chewing up my matress, to chewing up my shoes, to hopping out of the bath tub and shaking water allllll over the place, to escaping from the back yard...
Yes. I love her.
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| Hope cannot be said to exist, nor can it be said not to exist.
It is just like the roads across the earth.
For actually there were no roads to begin with,
but when many people pass one way a road is made. —Lu Hsun, 1921
from Hope’s Edge | | |
| peace of mind has been hard to come by lately.
sometimes a soul can be so broken
and a heart can be so frail
that it's like a slap in the face when it finally hits you.
my heart finds hope in everything,
but a void the size of an ocean is longing to be filled
with something more than just mere hope.
and then it hit me this morning: Matthew 11:28-30 says,
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." trying to fix things on my own has proven to be one of the hardest things i've done.
there isn't a spot of me that goes unnoticed by Him,
yet still i've attempted to hide the deepest, darkest parts of me.
for the first time in a long time, i realize that the Word is here to speak to the deepest places in our hearts...the little nooks and crannies that conceal our fears, guilts, shames, and wounds.
i think it's time to let It do the talking, instead of me. | | |
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Searching on the wire
for a wire,
for a peace of mind,
like the spiders in the corners
that are never there,
to the one,
to the magic sun.
you're not that bright now,
but you will be someday soon,
and you will fall in love with the moonlight.
So come on,
come on and say so,
come on, come on and say so.
If god was on the radio
i know he'd say to thee,
love is spiders on the edge,
and we're hanging by a thread,
connected to the other end of this
twisted frequency i've spun,
but i don't care,
i'd be happy
if you'd share
your web with me.
-Lovedrug, Spiders | | |
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